God helping me understand He loves me
Laura’s testimony of how God used the Christian Discipleship module to help her understand His great love for her.
Everyone has one and for context, my very top-level story is that I have experienced significant rejection and loss, and have been impacted by serious health issues – alongside this, there has been a strong sense of not fitting in and feeling unwanted as Laura.
During my journey, God has been incredibly faithful. I have been a Christian for almost all of my life and God has provided, guided and given me all that I have needed. He has demonstrated He is true to His word. Despite this, I have struggled with not wanting to have to face any more pain.
About 18 months ago I experienced a spiritual restlessness and hunger so I deepened my study of scripture, of God and of various doctrines. I thoroughly enjoy this and benefit greatly from it but this on its own doesn’t bring the benefit of fellowshipping, discussing and sharing the Word of God and what it means with Christian brothers and sisters. I need the individual walk with God and the collective community study with God’s family.
SO when the Theology course was announced, I jumped at the opportunity to attend. Under the directed study of the course authors and the group facilitation and leadership of Clive, it has been hugely beneficial and in the midst of the study I had a real moment of awakening deep inside regarding the love of God for me.
Clive spoke last week about legalism and license and I think I have been given to veer towards legalism – I know God loves me (why else would Jesus have died and offered me his righteousness in place of my filthy sin?) But I think I have seen myself as being herded around as part of His flock. One of very many – and one that is broken and damaged before Him – a failure.
BUT during a portion of the Theology course’s reflective homework, a light went on:
• The Divinity above all divinities
• The Majesty above all majesties
• The Power above all powers
• The Holy, Holy, Holy God
does love me And He loves me as Laura, in the righteousness of His Jesus, and He is even pleased to do so.
God used the Theology course to bring this about in my life.
As I finish, I’d like to share the moment where the Truth of God’s love for me broke through in a new way: